NIL

2010-07-25T01:07:00.001+08:00

It's really nice and warm to have friends remembering your birthday without needing facebook reminders.

About time I did the same.

2010-04-08T03:32:00.002+08:00

Why do I keep appearing to be doing the same things!
Or maybe I AM.
Sigh.
It really is so tough to dance.

But it was fun today~

On side note,
Parents are leaving for Genting for 2 days!
First home alone experience!

2010-03-27T01:59:00.001+08:00

Yay.

I love talking to juniors.

And I shall try to abstain from mainstream hip hop from now.

Dance revives me!

2010-03-07T10:18:00.001+08:00

Why can't people stop comparing things.
There isnt really a basis for comparison since everyone is different in their own way.

And I'm starting to dislike the word "better".
A lot.

2010-03-06T01:16:00.002+08:00

It totally sucks with a,
One-exam-decides-it-all system.
And it totally sucks when they dont tell you,
Or explain to you where did you screw up for your examination.

Hope some cool dude can make his way into MOE,
And work with cambridge to make the system a better one for learning.

And imo,
The A* system is totally unneeded.

2010-01-29T16:32:00.002+08:00

JUSTE DEBOUT WENT TO CHINA.
ZOMG.
COME TO SINGAPORE NEXT PLEASE.

It's such a great event.
I remember watching the tour videos of 2009,
And thinking that it will be real dope to be part of the organising team.
Traveling to various parts of the world.
And to see the different styles and the different interpretations of dance by different people.

Yeah,
It's definitely dope.

2010-01-09T00:00:00.001+08:00

There is just too much beef going around,
Where is the peace and love?

2010-01-02T00:05:00.001+08:00

What we learn is in school is much,
Much less than what we end up learning in real life.

But once we grow up and look back,
More than a handful of us will realise that our starting points in life were precisely that place we call,
School.

- Ikigami chapter 21 page 36

2009-12-21T03:18:00.002+08:00

When different people come together.
Different ideas arise.
Different issues arise.

Conflict.

2009-11-26T23:36:00.002+08:00

I think its fate.

The dude in London apparently scammed me,
Cos the service dudette at orchad told me e warranty is international.
And it expires tomorrow!
Which is a public holiday!
So means it is either I send for repair today for free,
Or pay 40 bucks after today.

Lucky day.

2009-11-12T14:23:00.002+08:00

Apple just sent me an email.
"Shop smarter this holiday at the Apple Online Store".

Yeh,
I will shop smarter,
But probably not at Apple stores.

2009-10-24T01:06:00.003+08:00

A level will be a bloodbath.

And who will care for the blood shed by others?
Blood shed to let others succeed.

I have to say I hate this entire system,
But yet I cant suggest any better alternatives.

2009-10-23T01:27:00.001+08:00

Graduation was another memorable day.

2009-10-13T22:18:00.001+08:00

I vaguely remember about a dream not long ago.

I was hit or something,
And my teeth were falling out.

It felt painful,
Quite bloody.

Maybe its a signal to the bloodbath of As.

2009-10-08T22:15:00.001+08:00

Fiction vs reality.

Wonder which has more influence.

2009-09-27T01:07:00.002+08:00

An old photo of us in China was tagged on facebook.
Aw man,
Those times were great.
Those three trips are one of the reasons that make it worth taking up CSC.

Overseas experiences with friends are totally fun to the max.

More please.

2009-09-01T00:28:00.004+08:00

The world's pretty strange.

Humans are strange.
Or maybe I'm just cynical.

We all hope to achieve the best.
We aim for the best.
And we work hard for the best.

We compete against one another for the limited achievements out there.
We wish each other luck,
And hope to do better than others at the same time.
Maybe not everybody does that.
At least I hope there are people who aren't like that.

It is as if we are building our successes on others' losses.
And then when we achieve our success,
We want to give back to society.
Great,
So does that mean we try to amend for what we've taken away from them in e first place to achieve what we wanted?
So we damage them, then repair them.
Can that be considered wanting to help?
Or that is just showing that you're superior over others?

Ok, so maybe its the society's structure.
The preference for those who are the very top.
Yeah maybe.
Or is that yet another excuse?

It certainly ain't wrong wanting to do your best.
And I think that achieving outstanding results,
Be it academic or non-academic,
Is truly an admirable feat.
But do people think about e others that have failed?
I think they do.
At least I hope they do.
And do people know what they should do in such a situation?
Hah,
That's the tricky one.

Man,
I speak like I've already failed.
Or maybe I have already.

Haha,
I feel like a sore loser lamenting.

2009-08-07T21:17:00.000+08:00

Dreams.

To give my all to attain it,
Or to conform to society for survival.

The risk is too big.

Everyone's working hard for the A levels.
But is it worth anything?

Are they working towards a cause,
A dream,
An ambition?

Or just because they feel that it is their "job".
Or maybe they feel proud achieving e best of grades,
And entering a prestigious university.
And graduating with a prestigious cert.

Scholarships too.
Do they really need it?
Or is it mere for the prestige?
Do they really have to travel overseas to get their education?

To know what you really want.

Its tough.
Definitely.

2009-07-26T14:50:00.002+08:00

Dear Hui Hua,

When you've grown old,
And suffer from memory loss,
Please read this to remember that
You've had a great bunch of friends around ya in your college life.

Remember that they have made an impact in your life.
Remember that they have put up with all the nonsense and crap you've brought to them.

And remember,

They touched you.
Deeply.

2009-07-12T22:27:00.001+08:00

My sister drove us to my grandmother's house today.

It was the first time I experienced her driving.

I was tired,
But I couldn't sleep on the car.

2009-06-12T00:07:00.002+08:00

Time to clear some stuff into here before I go nuts.

I hate elections.
Was actually excited about it as I get to dance for the battles.
Ended up being wack,
And ended up having overload of thoughts in my puny mind.
Tsk,
Guess at the end I hated it.

President.
I never fucking wanted to be one.
I tried to convince myself to the job.
Yeah,
I did try.
I should say I did put in my best in trying.
After all,
What was I when I took up the job?
What was I when I was running?
Let's see.

Chinese Orchestra sectional leader.
Wow.
Lost soul without clear vision nor goal.
Cool.
Some jiao dancer who knew nuts about what he was doing.
Awesome.

Yeah,
Its as bad as it sounds.
In fact,
I didnt want to run.

Rewinding.
It was fac com interview.
Dance i/c.
Jiayi asked,
"Are you running for MAD exco?
If so, how are you going to manage your time and priorities?"
"I don't think I'm going to run,
Cos I'm sick of politics."

Not that Chinese Orchestra has loads of politics.
Just seeing how seniors in CO operate,
Observing stuff about politics,
I could tell that I'm an avid hater of it.
Having to absorb,
Deal with,
Talk about,
Such political bullshit.
I never wanted to.

And so fac com results came out.
I wasn't selected.
Then Thomas told me,
"Why don't you run for MAD exco?
I believe you can make changes in MAD."
I questioned that.
I spent thought into it.
I couldn't come up with any shit.
Changes?
Tsk,
I can't come up with shit when I have to just for the sake of it.
But maybe I thought,
I could do something for this club?
I felt and sensed that the seniors was hoping for me to go run.
It became something like a responsibility?
But still,
I didn't want to.

BUT SOMEHOW.
I think I convinced myself that I want to for a period of time.
Pre-elections,
During elections,
And post-elections.
Cos I remember feeling excited and happy after knowing the results,
That i was elected.
And I remembered feeling anxious when I screwed up the freaking interview.
And I remembered me saying,
"Let me put this straight across.
I’m Hui Hua from the hip hop and bboy division.
And I want to be your president."
In my speech.

That was a lie.

So by running,
Its like forcing myself to stuff that I didn't want to get involved in.
Mainly politics.
Hypocritical?
Running when you said that you didn't want to run?
Yeah sure,
I don't really give a fucking damn about that.

I knew I had to face it.
So I tried to make it minimal.
I did try to compress political issues to the minimum.
Maybe I didn't do enough.
Or maybe I'm the only one feeling it.

And so I got assigned the duty.

Truth to be told.
The seniors were making a huge gamble.
Selecting someone who went inside a interview.
Answering most of the questions with,
"I don't know",
Laughs,
Shrugs.
If I were the seniors,
I would prolly not chosen myself.

I still am wondering why I was chosen.
Sharon told me cos I have potential.
Terrance mentioned I was charismatic.
Yeah I'm sure I had charisma. - -|
Maybe cos I was one of the prominent figures,
That I started,
Or tried to start,
Dancing in secondary school.
But I have no idea why they decided to place their bet on me.

Then the question was.
Did they win?

To me,
I've failed them.

Lacking in experience,
I did not know much to do actually.
I did much of e stuff following what the seniors did,
Or from what I knew from previous experiences,
Which were of not much use.
I was pretty incapable.
One major mistake would be orientation I guess.
I didn't know it had so much significance to the J1s until today.
I didn't see it to be of much importance.
My bad.

Another thing was the "changes" that I was supposedly capable of bringing.
I thought about it.
Things that surfaced were reputation.
Bonding.
I kinda realise now that those were just some,
BULLSHIT
That appeared cos I was desperately trying to find something that I could make a difference in.
Not that I did make much difference,
But I did clear my thoughts regarding reputation.
As for bonding,
I did do whatever I could.
But it was prolly not enough.
After all,
What I could do wasn't much.

Then after some time into my term,
I've began realising stuff.
Then I found something that I wanted to do.
Something that I hope to achieve in my term.
And then after some time and effort,
I realised that it was impossible.
For the nature of MAD being a JC CCA,
With 3 distinctly different divisions.
And yeah,
I didn't share this explicitly with my exco.
I didn't declare it as a newly founded vision.
Shrugs,
I don't know why I didn't do that.
Maybe I've just became too self-centered,
Working, and depending on myself too much.
Seeing things too much form my perspective,
Thinking that its the best for myself,
And sticking to it.
And that's when opinions clash.

I've now come to believe that I ain't the great-o-leader type.
I've now come to actually support the idea that the CO seniors didn't put my application for HCICO chairperson through.

My belief aint the kind that typical presidents will probably adopt.
The soft approach,
Or maybe its called the don't bother approach.
I did try the hard approach.
But scolding and yelling wasn't my cup of tea.
Not only that I felt awkward doing so.
I didn't like doing so.
And that I felt I couldn't do it with much efficiency.
Even now,
Getting everyone's attention is a problem.
And I think I've becoming sick of that.

I say what I have to say.
I brief what I have to brief.
You listen,
Good for you.
You didn't listen,
Too bad, not my fault.
And some times,
I don't even bother with stuff,
Cos it appears to be that it aint worth bothering.
I can honestly say,
That won't make the cut for a president.

Maybe because I lack respect from the people.
Something that I was determined to earn.
Respect.
I did try honestly.
But after a while I gave up of some sort.
Cos the stereotype,
Or the way people view me have already been fixed more or less.
Retarded.
Something that I detest being associated with.
And it doesn't go along with respect much well.
So people just assume that stereotype,
And stick with it as much as possible.
At almost everything,
They'll try to link it to something that I've done before,
Prolly something "retarded",
And just proclaim retard.
Woo.
Respect?
Yeah,
Totally.

End of the day,
I did try to be a responsible president.
And a good one.
But I guess my abilities just didn't match the job.
But in all,
I think I've done whatever I could,
In this position that I didn't desire.
And in this position that I didn't want to be remembered for.

Retarded.
President.
The two things that kept appearing on my dance nite notes.
And the exact two things that I don't want to be remembered for.

I joined MAD as a dancer.
And I'm glad that I didn't compromise my dance,
Because I had presidential duties to fufil.
Although I do admit that I ain't pleased with my current standards.
Being in two divisions is a tough feat.
It ends you up neither here nor there.
And you just don't want to give up either.

And so,
I will leave MAD as a dancer.
I may be the president in name.
But that ain't the important thing.

I've been thinking,
Maybe it wouldn't have been better for those who wanted this position to get it rather than me yeah?
Felt like I've robbed them off something that they want.
And it wasn't really something that I truly desired as well.

Maybe.

2009-05-24T20:47:00.001+08:00

The ` ΜΛD sign is back again on my msn nick.

2009-05-17T21:17:00.002+08:00

It have been quite crazy these few days.
But I simply love this entire process.

Its the people man.
The people.

2009-05-10T00:19:00.002+08:00

In Chuan Khim's long email,
He mentioned us being the "best jc dance society" in Singapore.

Hah,
For a cca,
I guess its not bad.

But I should say that standards are not to be seen from productions.
Its from the mentality, knowledge and skills.
And we lack it.

12 more days to go!

2009-05-08T00:14:00.001+08:00

Everyone's practically shouting at one another now.

It hurts.

2009-05-07T00:43:00.001+08:00

Everyone's mad busy.

I do seriously hope ya guys are enjoying it tho.
No point if it all ends up in suffering.

STAY STRONG GUYS!
WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER!

Its 16 days to a dope show.

2009-04-27T21:59:00.002+08:00

Huang Cheng was cool.
Looking at every one of them giving their all for e show was heartwarming.

I feel insecure about dance nite.
I hope they are giving their all.

2009-04-22T22:40:00.002+08:00

So they clinched it back.

Surprisingly,
The emotions I had in response to the results pale in comparison compared to 2 years back.
Even though,
When I walked back into the practice hall,
Seeing all of them dressed up smartly,
Carrying their instruments,
All ready for action,
I had a sudden surge of emotions.
Little.
But it was there.
I remembered the very day 2 years back.
When I was just like one of them.
But oh well,
I guessed I had let it go already.
Or maybe I've turned numb.

Great job guys.
Ya took back the honours that we lost.
Great job.

2009-04-12T23:57:00.002+08:00

I need a day where I can sit down,
Take out my work,
And actually start completing them.

Doesn't seem like any of e days in this few weeks.

2009-04-11T00:32:00.003+08:00

Six generations.
And we still stay strong together.
;D
All e best to Peng Rong who's going to NS like really really soon.
Thanks for e treat today yo.
One of my most favorite seniors!
Haha.

Its just incredible how after 2 years out of hcico.
We still can get together.
Maybe not all of us,
But most of us.
And e thing is that we dont ever bored of anyone of us.
Woohoo.

Looking at things now,
It feels different yeah.
The way I interact with my seniors and juniors now,
And the way I did when I was in hcico.

Wasn't really VERY close to the seniors.
Thats one big regret.
Not very close to the juniors as well.
Thats another regret which can be worked on.
As for peers,
Not bad I should say,
But still,
Not as close as I was to Justin back then.
Maybe cause only both of us were in our "division".
Hah, great partner he was.
And great friend.

Looking forward to the next gathering.
I'm sure it will be a blast.

2009-04-04T00:10:00.002+08:00

All the things that I tried to deal with hit me.
Hard.

I finally realised what I was looking for.

A crew.
Not a cca.

2009-03-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

Blocks are over.
And I feel that I'm still suffocated.

2009-03-15T23:38:00.002+08:00

Been looking up piano videos on youtube again.
Looking at them just makes me want to push my puny grade up.

Yet another factor to be considered.

Focus.
Where?

2009-03-08T14:57:00.003+08:00

Haven't been going around blogs for a while,
Took some time off today to do so.

Seeing how people post,
Their emotions,
Their thoughts,
Their experiences,
It affects the reader really.

The feeling of wanting to render help to another,
Yet being unable to do so.
Its really unbearable.
Thats prolly why I make frequent attempts to make people laugh.
Even if they are laughing at me.
If it helps?
I wonder.

To me,
Seeing the smiles of people beats everything.
It beats recognition.
It beats the monetary gains.
It beats the thank yous.
It beats the messages of gratitude.

What makes me feel acknowledged?
A true, happy smile from within.

On a side note.
I'm truly proud of my team.
You guys did well.
;D

2009-03-07T00:21:00.001+08:00

This is it.

Props to all people who have been working hard these few weeks.

Lets do this.

2009-03-02T00:45:00.001+08:00

Nothing brightens up my day more than a dope showcase.
The ending is seriously,
Impactful.
Hah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl-_vBzryhI&feature=related

Props and respect.

Cheers!

2009-03-01T00:31:00.002+08:00

Its easy to say let go.
But it has always been hard to do so.

Mixed feelings,
Unmatched and lost.

Some things just stay.

2009-02-27T23:17:00.000+08:00

They did it!

And that made the smile on my face.

;D

2009-02-23T22:03:00.000+08:00

Back to the 1990s.

Lets go.

2009-02-21T22:16:00.002+08:00

2 things.
1 person.

Can they not fit?

2009-02-19T19:18:00.000+08:00

Out of the many times people say,
"It is okay. I'm fine."

How many times do they actually mean it?

I wonder.

2009-02-17T23:19:00.002+08:00

The best teachers that I have
Are the ones who are not teaching me in my academics.

How amazing.

2009-02-10T00:19:00.003+08:00

I've grateful for the people around me.
Yet at times I feel distant.

It is heartwarming to see that class blogs of others are recently updated.
With pictures.
With interesting posts.
With the sense of bothering to contribute and stay bonded.

It is heartwarming to see that e people around me are gathered in cliques.
With topics to talk about that never seem to run out.
With jokes to laugh about that never seem to be lame.
With sincere words of love and friendship.

It is heartwarming to see families walking by the streets.
With the children holding hands with their parents so sweetly.
With the parents smiling and laughing together with their kids.
With this sense of happiness hovering around them.

There are people who say that they are never alone at all times.
There are people who say that they feel alone at all times.

I dont feel alone.
I feel distant.
Maybe because I am just too busy.

Lamenting's over.
Life goes on.

2009-02-06T23:54:00.002+08:00

Its pretty great to have this bunch of people that you are just happy to be training with.
People who share similar sentiments.
People who respect one another.
People who help out one another.
People who look out for one another.
People who work together.

Basically,
A crew.

Seeing people with their fuyo crews working hard for the comp tmr is heartwarming.
How they care for one another.
How they try to help improve another member's standard.
How they strive to be proud of their very own crew.
Maybe some see themselves as a team.
But I can see some sense of crew-ness.
Which is more than just being a team of people.

A team.
A crew.

What differs is more than just their spelling.

2009-02-03T00:27:00.003+08:00

I remember when I was having C1 orientation last year,
And I was in this GP introductory lecture.
There was this word "quandary" that appeared.

I would never expect that close to after 1 year later,
I would be using that one word.

I am in a quandary now.

2009-01-29T00:03:00.002+08:00

Was watching a typical Chinese TV series.
E usual martial arts kind.
And as usual there was conflict between the evil and righteous sects.
And as usual the so called righteous sect is not that righteous after all.
And the evil sect doesn't seem that evil.
Hurray to typical plots and twists.

But looking at it,
It aint difficult to pinpoint e similarities in life.
The "good" people,
And the "bad" people.
Who determines who are "good",
And who are "bad"?
The majority.
As long as the majority condemns you,
You are screwed.

But one may not be as "bad" or "evil" as others claim.
It just takes one bias person to influence others,
And others will carry on the cycle.
Soon, they will make up the "majority".

The question then is,
Who is "good" and who is "bad"?
How are we to judge?

Well,
Don't judge.
Look at every person out there with an open mind.
And that is enough.

Who cares about the "righteous" and the "evil"?
They are all humans afterall.

2009-01-23T22:20:00.002+08:00

People are different in their own ways.
They are not always what we think they are.
And we do not have the right to determine how they should be.

We'll just have to appreciate them for who they are.

Happy Chinese New Year.

2009-01-08T21:15:00.000+08:00

Year 2008.

I became a bboy.

Year 2009.

I will become a popper.

2009-01-04T01:08:00.002+08:00

The role of a helper.

The role of an adviser.

The role of a supporter.

The role of the buffer.

Insignificant?

Unnoticeable maybe.

Happy 2009.

2008-12-25T14:48:00.003+08:00

It started about nearly 3 years ago,
When I started on this path.
This road which I liked.

People were giving me encouragement,
Acknowledgment,
Approval.

I thought I was in the right track,
And continue heading forward.
And so forward I went,
Making turns here and there,
And people were still cheering on me.

As I reached further and further into the road,
I became more confident that I was on the road that I want to be.
Until I reached it.
This signpost somewhere in the middle of this road.

It told me what this road is all about.
It told me the things that people around me didn't tell me.

Then I realised that I was on the wrong road.
This aint the road I wanted to be on.
I had fun and enjoyed being on this road.
But I knew in my heart that this aint what I want to do.
This aint what I thought I was doing.

Then,
I wondered to myself at this moment.
"Why didn't this signpost appear at the very start?"
It actually did.
It existed from the very start,
But I didnt notice.
I was clouded by the people around me.
I got too confident,
That I didnt bother to find out more about what I'm doing.

Its time to change path.
Its time to do what I really want to do.

The best gift of this Christmas,
Enlightenment.

Merry Christmas

2008-11-27T11:18:00.002+08:00

Long time since I've been here.

Scotland is the bomb.
Big thank you to all buddies,
Teachers,
Drivers,
Students,
Everyone.

It was such a great experience.
Far better than any of the China trips.

To all who are involved.
Our friendship stands strong.

It all started with a trip
A trip to see
A school in Scotland
Stewarton Academy
Full of memories
It’s so beautiful

Strangers turned into friends at last
Forming this
Friendship to last
To a bond that will stay
On and on
We sing this song

Friends and buddies by our side
Seeing us through
As we play and learn
Everyday's experience
Laughter, joy and fun
It's so wonderful

As they become precious memories
They'll be kept close to our heart
And no matter where we are
We will always know
We share this song

Where we move on
Where we keep our memories
Where friends are more than words
Where we come together
As one heart
Hugging throughout that whole night

Where we are strong
Where we keep our tears and joy
Where we are one big family
We want the whole world to know
We want to shout it out loud
That this is why our bond will live on

Cheers.

2008-10-20T00:30:00.000+08:00

The feeling of unwantedness.

I guess it has always been there.

2008-10-15T23:15:00.002+08:00

I've made the decision.
Hope its the right one.

Balance.
It aint easy to attain.

Improvement.
Its even more difficult.

Confidence.
Time to build more.

2008-10-12T21:14:00.000+08:00

That feeling of suffocation is back.

2008-09-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

If it can't be cured, it must be endured.

Endure.

2008-09-23T23:02:00.000+08:00

Every cloud has a silver lining.

2008-09-13T21:59:00.003+08:00

I yearned to improve,
That I forgot to enjoy.

2008-09-03T23:14:00.003+08:00

1) Who am I? [10]
Tough question.

With the myriad of personalities we all come across each day,
Its not difficult to find yourself lost in some other identity.

Some people try to mask their true personality with another.
Some people try to be some other person.
Some people dont realise that they are not themselves.
Some people just dont care.
And there are people who stick to being themselves all e time.

I have to say.
Being yourself is e hardest of them all.

With e influences around you,
Its hard to stand by your own principles,
Your own character,
Your own personality,
Your own identity.

We come across something that we like,
We tend to want to integrate it to our lives.

We come across someone that is better than us,
We tend to try to be better or be like that person.

We come across something that we cannot achieve,
We tend to not give up and try to attain our goals eventually.

With all that,
We change.

When people change.
What do we see in them?

A change of personality and character?
A change of identity?

Then again,
Is it a change,
Or a facade.

Did they really change?
Or is it just a temporary shift.

Will they change to something else when the next time you see them?
Maybe they are just being "adaptable".

So when people say "You've changed."
Maybe you would like to ask youself,
"Have I really changed?"
"How did I change?"
"Do I want this change?"

"Change for the better."
Sounds good.
But then, will you still be the you after changing?
Well yeah,
The identity of "you" still exists.
But the true essence of you is lost.
So,
Are you willing to lose your essence,
For a better existence of you?
Are you an essentialist?
Or an existentialist?

So,
Are you the true you today?
What about tomorrow?

Who exactly are you?

I have asked 16 questions so far.
How many can you answer?
Make it 17.

Oh a side note,
Change reminds me of something not really pleasant.
Hah.

Life resumes.

2008-08-31T17:07:00.001+08:00

Learn to love what you are doing.
Enjoying them makes your life a better one.

2008-08-19T22:37:00.002+08:00

To be able to make someone smile and be happy is a nice feeling.
I like that feeling.
Thats why I tend to be retarded or lame at times.
And I try not to cause any resentment/disappointment/unhappiness to e people around me.
I wanted people to be smile and laugh.
Seeing them doing so makes you feel like doing so as well.

But lots of people seem to be crippled with problems now.
And they tend to have this atmosphere of unhappiness around them.
Well, if you,
Yes you,
The one reading this right now,
Happen to be one of those people.
Do me a favour.

Smile.

;D

Hah.
Thank you.
You've just made my day if you smiled.
If you didn't,

You can now.

2008-08-16T10:37:00.002+08:00

Our first public performance today!

Its going to be fun.
Its going to be loud.
Its going to be MAD.
We'll do a good job.
;D

Tapestry 08.

2008-08-04T22:37:00.001+08:00

I was minutes,
Or even seconds,
Close to never again see my dearest wallet again.

Thank you to couple who picked up my wallet by the road!

I need a treatment for my absent mindedness.

2008-07-24T22:54:00.000+08:00

Two dots.
One right bracket.

Thank you all.

2008-07-20T18:17:00.003+08:00

You know,
Everytime when theres an outing,
Or an event,
Or a party,
And when its time to bid goodbye,
It feels dam empty.

I dislike e feeling of having to part.
Everytime when something ends,
Or when people have to separate,
I feel really empty.

Farewell's over.
Another one of those events when people have to part.
It officially marks the "graduation" of e snrs.
I really hope e snrs had fun.
It was really heartwarming to see almost e whole mad gather in e living room watching the passing over ceremony.
=)
And now,
Its over.
I miss it.
I kinda regret that I cropped myself up in the room choinging the montage and didnt go down and interact much with e snrs.
And I didnt have e chance to take photos with so many people too!

Caroline's house is really a nice place to chill at.
Haha.
I so didnt feel like leaving.
Much much much thanks to caroline for the house! (once again)
I'm looking forward to go there again. (whatever the reason)
Hah...

I feel empty and theres this weird sense of disappointment in me now.
Dont know why tho.
I just feel lonely,
And it makes me sad.
=\

Soon,
It will be our turn to "graduate" from MAD.
And then people around me will start parting.
Some will go NS.
Some will travel overseas.
Some will go to different unis.

Time flies really fast,
And it makes me really want to treasure my time with the people around me.
But with all these work and stuff,
Dont really know how to.
Everything's like in a rush,
Cant really spend quality time with friends and family.

But...
On a lighter note,
My sis is staying in singapore!
At least I wont feel so lonely =)
Hah...

Everything has to come to an end.
Why?

2008-06-28T21:39:00.002+08:00

When people are busy,
They tend to complain.

After they are done with their work,
They tend to feel empty.

Eventually,
They tend to miss being busy.

I think I'm one such person.

Work.Work.

2008-06-12T21:05:00.003+08:00

First recognisable being when I arrived in Singapore turns out to be Chuan Khim.
Thanks for going down to pick me up.

Anyway.
7 days bring back...

13 shirts.
2 puma shoes.
1 cap.
1 pair of dickies.

And food and souvenirs.
But I didnt have e money to get every one souvenirs.
Whoops in advance.

Now that I'm back.
Lets get things started.

Oh,
And thanks for all the congrats.
I promise I'll do my best.
;D

Hols are over.
Bring the hell on.

2008-06-02T23:14:00.002+08:00

Its such a rush.
The pace is simply too fast.

Dance Nite.
BSP camp 08.
CHANGE.
Elections.
BSP camp chalet.
Taiwan holiday trip.

It's like a chain of events.
One after another.

I feel tired.

I need to rest.

It has been a while since I had a nice long sleep.

2008-05-29T20:44:00.004+08:00

So another event ended yet again.
This time it marks the 3rd year.

It was fun.
Although we only met the facs on the first day of camp itself,
And we skipped many meetings due to our hectic schedule,
We eventually managed to blend in with the facs and OT.
=)
Special cheers for these people,
For they make up the fun and laughter of the entire camp.

Things were slightly different this year.
We tied the overly re-used bsp banner which we prayed hard throughout the camp to not drop.
We were put in charge of the AVA stuff.
We were the oldest among them all.
My montage song was used to play the montage!
Haha.

Oh ya,
Special thanks goes to Xing Yun for help with the lights/sounds during the performances.
We would have just died without him seriously.

This year's camp was quite disorganized,
But we managed to pia out fac and OT items eventually.
This year's atmosphere was quite dead at first,
But we managed to get them fired up eventually.
This year, we didn't stay back in the hall until late afternoon after the camp to chill out,
But we chilled out at pizza hut instead.
This year the feeling's quite different,
But we all had fun.

I really hope this year's facs and OT can be as bonded as our batch last year.
Afterall,
After this event,
They wont have much chance to meet up again unless they plan outings.
It'll be a waste if their friendship just dissolve like that.
Bsp camp aint just a camp.
Its a friendship which will last a lifetime.

Before I left the hall,
I knew that this is probably the last time I'll be in this place again.
It'll be different next year.
Even busier than this.
Which is why none of the J2s came back this year.

Now the fun stuff is all over,
Its time to dread change, blocks and elections.
It seemed like we didnt have much time to do our elections choreography during the period of the camp.
Yikes.

I'm looping the montage song over and over again.
I want photos!
*Quietly awaits for mass convers and outings*

2008-05-25T00:17:00.003+08:00

I'm officially suspended from my cca.
For e whole hols I assume.
Hah,
But I think I'm going to break some rules.
Break.
;D

My teacher called my mother.
Was surprised that it was my teacher who told me that.
The day when she called my mum,
She didn't tell me anything at all.
My teacher said my mum said that she is very supportive of her son (me).
Something along that line.
For that brief moment.
I smiled widely.
Am very grateful to have such understanding parents.
I owe them too much.
Seriously.

My sister's planning to study overseas.
That probably means its one person less at home.
Well,
My house's empty enough in the day and afternoon alr.
=(
Thats why I don't want to go home in the afternoon.
Being alone at home.
It aint nice.
But yet again,
My parents mentioned that they are the ones that are in e empty house alone when we all are out.
Which is true.
Maybe I should make some effort to head home early.

Change concert is next week.
I feel bored.

2008-05-21T22:40:00.003+08:00

CO has heavy politics.
At least as for now.

Talking to Ming Shiang seems much more enjoyable than talking to e MAD people.
Somehow they all have gone mad over BGRs.
Every dinner/lunch time,
That'll be the topic of discussion.
Like wth?

Having second thoughts bout going back to co.
Wanted to after their cert.
But seems like,
Some people are unwelcoming.
Plus all the politics undergoing.
Even though elections are over,
Its still damn awkward for some people in the co.
I can understand.
I've been through that before.

Hope MAD is different.
Hcco aint the hcco I pictured it to be.
Hcico was much more of the cca I'd love to be in.

2008-05-20T22:47:00.002+08:00

Post dance nite day 3.

Was stoning back in the auditorium again during my after-biology break.
It feels quite different.
Well,
I mean I'm quite overwhelmed by some mixed feelings everytime I stayed back in the auditorium.
Alone with some classmates.
It looks so empty.
Looks so peaceful in the previously noisy crowded auditorium.

Today,
It felt even emptier.

Looking at e empty stage.
Looking at e unkept speakers.
Looking at e empty seats.

Its hard to imagine that we actually performed in the same auditorium that we have our lectures in every normal school day.
That two days the auditorium felt strangely different.
That two days,
I didn't feel like leaving the auditorium at all.
It wasn't like the typical sian feeling you'll get when you enter the auditorium for lectures.

Every day,
I have been looking at the empty auditorium stage.
That two days,
I was on that empty auditorium stage.

It was a great feeling.

2008-05-19T11:01:00.003+08:00

We've done it.
Came.
Shook.
Left.

But we didn't just leave.
Everyone left with something.
I'm sure they did.

I'm still regretful that I didn't bring my camera.
Although I'm not the camwhore type,
But that day was simply the day to spam photos.
I wanted to take photos with so many people,
But no camera.
=(

And seeing how the seniors are busy scribbling notes,
Typing sms-es,
Preparing all e notes and gifts for one another,
Makes me feel so sweet.
I really should have done similar stuff.
After all,
Our time with e seniors are running out.
Seniors!
=)

On a side note,
Thanks all who came and supported us.
Thanks all who gave flowers, cauliflower, photos and notes.
AND CHOCOLATES! (Can't believe I forgot)
Really appreciate the support.

Yay.
I love everyone.
Smiles.

2008-05-15T23:52:00.003+08:00

I think I'm owing people too much.

Parents,
Teachers,
Classmates,
Friends.

Thanks all.
For your help.
For your time.
For your efforts.

I think I can start repaying tmr.
With SHAKE.

HC AUDI WILL BE BURNED TO BITS BY OUR BLAZING FURY OF PASSION AND ENTHUSIASM.
FEEL OUR ENERGY.

Don't worry,
It aint an earthquake.
Its just SHAKE.
=)

2008-05-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

Dance Night!
Its come really really really soon!

Argh,
I still feel freaking guilty for not be able to get tickets for my CT.
Forgetful + busy me.
They probably think I'm some uber irresponsible kid now.
=(
Oh well,
Theres a chance for them and many other to watch our wed full run tho.
Chance for redemption.
Hah.

I wonder what I will do after Dance Nite.
Seniors will be studying.
Well, we all should be studying actually.
Blocks in a couple of months.
Yet,
I feel like laxing.
Afterall,
It has been sometime since I've slept early and truly enjoyed my sleep.

Dance Nite 08!
The stage is ours to SHAKE!

2008-05-07T23:49:00.001+08:00

No matter what happens.
My passion stays.

Peace out.

2008-05-05T00:23:00.003+08:00

Politics.
Comparison.

I'm sick and tired of all that.
Everyone just tries to be better than others.
Own me for all I care.
I'll just do my stuff.

I hate the times where comparison are inevitable.

2008-04-28T19:12:00.002+08:00

Yay,
I'm good friends with Xing Yun again.
Slap me another time and you'll get it tho.

Went down to support girl's squash today.
Won.
The cheering was immense as usual.
I've come to realise that my cca doesn't have any occasion where council will bring people down to support us.
We may have competitions,
But they aren't really as big as nationals.
So,
We wont be seeing a large group of hwa chong people cheering all out for us.
Well,
We have dance nite which is coming really soon.
Come, watch and cheer for us okay people!

Looking forward to apollo fac outing.
All e best good friend,
Be a good prince.

2008-04-23T22:32:00.002+08:00

When things collide,
They produce friction.

When events collide,
They produce dilemmas.

2008-04-19T23:44:00.002+08:00

So today is the fac outings for Ares, Athena and Artemis.
While they are all out there having fun,
I'm resorted to biology madness.

Oh well,
That may be a good thing aint it?
Having supposedly extra time to study.
But I can't really utilise my time well.
And me being here kinda proves that fact.

So I was trying to take a break off the madness.
Kinda finished DNA stuff.
So I flipped through my sister's J1 biology file.

Lecture test 1 : 14/45
Lecture test 2 : 8.5/30

Just when I was feeling comforted.

Block test 1 : 60.5/100
Promos : 74.5/100

My jaw just dropped.

Miracles do happen dont they.
U to B.

I want it too.

2008-04-12T23:11:00.002+08:00

A name is more than just a symbol of identification.

Your name represents you.
Your name is your pride.

Getting a bboy name is more than just getting a cool nick name.

It is what we want people to know us as when we break.
It is what we want people to identify us as.
It is a representation of us.

We all talk about giving respect and earning respect.
We all want our names to be respected.
But yet,
Are we giving others our respect?
Just that basic respect that people ought to have for others.
Are we lacking that?

Jokes are jokes indeed.
But as I mentioned before.
There is a limit to things.
And when things exceed the limit,
It aint nice.

Are you giving people the respect that you want people to give you?

Names are to be respected.
Not to be treated as laughing stocks.

2008-04-11T23:21:00.002+08:00

ARGH.

Someone crushed my spectacles again.
This time it was the left lens.
Last time it was the right lens.
Perfect.
- -|

And I don't know who did it.

2008-04-10T22:32:00.001+08:00

Interesting.
I checked ISP for my CCA listings and guess what.

CHINESE ORCHESTRA Music Practica Hall (MPH) Mon, Fri (4-7pm) , Wed (4-7pm) PHEE-TAN PEH LING (Mrs), POH MENG LENG (Mr) 09/04/2008 Joined Member

MUSIC & DANCE SOCIETY Salt Studio/Audi Basement Bboy:Tue530pm;HHopWed3pm;Modern:Mon3.30&Sat am/pm CHEN PHI FERN (Miss), KOH YEE SIN JESSIE (Miss) 09/04/2008 Joined Member

.
Just when I've decided to forget about CO.

2008-04-05T23:58:00.001+08:00

There is a limit for everything.
And it is there for a reason.

2008-04-03T21:36:00.002+08:00

My sister told me something interesting during the March holidays.
Okay sounds random,
But its rather interesting.

The reason why you hate/dislike certain people/group of people,
Is because they share similar/identical traits/characteristics as you.
I thought about it for a while and figured out its quite true.

And then a thought appeared in my blank mind/empty brain.
"I dislike kids."

2008-03-29T22:44:00.002+08:00

Spending time out talking can be really entertaining.
Not gossiping.
But just,
Talking.
Yeap.

Anyway I should be less annoying.
More people are getting pissed at me.
=(
Yeap.
So less annoying I shall be.

All e best to MILK, BEES, NUTS, SHINE, ONE and Tingyun!
Hah,
Now you know where all my votes will go to.

2008-03-25T23:04:00.005+08:00

My blog is not emo okay.
It only looks emo because I do my reflections here most of the time.
Well,
Thats what blogs are used for right?
At least for me.

Anyway,
To change the atmosphere a lil,
Heres something like the usual "you've been tagged!" questionnaire.
I dont really do such stuff,
But oh well,
I'm bored anyway.
From ben:

Instructions:
Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. Have you given your first kiss away?
Eh? Does kissing the rain count?

2. If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you?
Why would I want to be stranded on some island?

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Dreamland Street 24, 7th Avenue.

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
I want all my problems solved.

5. Who's your crush? (Wth, this question is ownage)
Miss swipes.

6. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
My life.

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
I would buy time.

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
We'll see.

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you. :
Tall, humorous, good friend (really good company, I mean it)

10.What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Average person who doesn't hate me.

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Bug type.

12. What is your ambition?
Either forensic scientist or dancer. See how it goes.

13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
Shout it out straight in my face please.

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
To have people around you who loves/supports you.

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Was. Until I gt broke.

16. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
+800 to strength? Hah, okay, I would like to be less guai lan.

17. What makes you different?
Am I even different?

18. Any weird habits or quirks?
Dislike wearing spectacles when dancing.

19. What makes you happy?
Music. And dance.

20.What do I dread now?
Death.

Okay,
I aint going to tag people,
Not because I dont want them to be blessed.
But because I dont want to just choose 8 people out of the many friends I have.
So,
Anyone if you want to do this questionnaire,
Feel free.

Anyway,
Tmr's a holiday.
Everyone seems to have programmes to fill their day.
I'm envious.

2008-03-23T01:09:00.002+08:00

Do you dance because you want to be a dope dancer?
Do you dance because you want to catch people's attention?
Do you dance because you want to get praises from people?
Or do you dance,
Because you want to.
And you love to.

I dance,
Because I love dancing.
I drill,
Because I find joy doing what I love.
I watch,
Because I want to learn.

When I feel low,
I just turn on the music.
Movements flow out naturally with the music.
When the song ends,
I'll find myself smiling.
I may have danced something stupid,
But I've enjoyed it.
And thats enough.

I've sort of come to terms with myself.
I've enjoyed my time in MAD,
And I think that I've made the right decision to join MAD.
But still,
I'm sorry for not joining CO.

Its about time I get over this issue.
I have tons of other problems,
And this shouldn't add on to them.
I can't keep feeling emotional whenever people talk to me about co.

Even thought I'm not in co now,
I'll still remember HCICO,
And all the memories you people have given me.
All e best juniors,
All e best HCCO.

The memories of 4/4 shall fade now.
I've said to myself that I would remember that very day.
But I think its best for me,
To try to forget it.
Afterall,
I'm no longer in a position to make a difference anymore.

We all have a long journey in life.
We all still have a long way to go.
Theres no point hanging onto something which pulls you down.
Learn to let things go.
I have.
Have you?

Dancenite 08,
Here I come.

2008-03-21T00:37:00.000+08:00

I need a change of luck.

And maybe a change in life too.

2008-03-18T22:37:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday jia han.
Thanks for crushing my specs.

And oh,
Belated birthdays to vinette and liping.

2008-03-16T23:58:00.002+08:00

I just read xing yun's blog.
"08s71 is breaking apart just like our senior class did."
Come to think of it,
Its true.
But its plain ironical.
Seniors mentioned that they saw us,
Being a bonded class,
Which motivated them to bond as a class too.
And yet now,
We're breaking apart ourselves.
Why?

I read other people's blog.
The usual "I thought I'm going to be in some crap class for the next 2 years, but its all false first impression",
And "I'm starting to love my class",
Phrases appear.
I felt,
Weird.
Its like,
My class is suffering an total inverse of what probably other classes are undergoing now.
Change, yes.
But from enthusiastic and bonded,
To segregation and bad blood?
Maybe I've been too mean,
Or disrespectful to certain people in my class.
I sincerely apologise.
I shall just shut my crap.
Argh.
I can sense my class breaking apart.
Maybe it doesn't show,
But its just there.
The sense of non-belonging.
Chuan khim asked me,
"Which do you feel more attached to?
MAD or your class?"
I told him both.
But come to think of it again,
I'm more attached to my cca.
I actually skipped class outing for mad training.
And I heard that the class outing attendance was pathetic.
Argh.
Can we please improve,
In our ties?

Its the start of the second term.
Can we be just what we were like during orientation?
When we were as a class.
08S71.
I used to love this class.
I want to love it again.
And make it last forever.

2008-03-14T20:48:00.001+08:00

I have a set.
And I'm proud of it.

2008-03-07T21:38:00.002+08:00

2001:
PSLE - Sis : 263 + 3

2003:
PSLE - Me : 263 + 3

2005:
HMT O'level - Sis : A1

2007:
HMT O'level - Me : A1

2008:
A'level -
Sis: PW: A
HMT: A
Biology: A
Chemistry: A
Mathematics: A
Economics: A
GP : B
Chem H3 : Merit

I'm proud of my sister.
Although she missed gp and h3 for a perfect score,
She had achieved outstanding results.
Hope she gets admitted into the university she wants.
I'll miss her dearly if she decides to go overseas.

Now, its my turn.
2009.
A'levels.

Can I keep up the trend?
I don't know.

2008-03-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

As much of people say that strength is not a major factor in breaking,
It is very evident that strength gives much advantages.

When you see people doing the things that you know how to do,
But you lack the strength to perform that move.
It feels...
Disadvantaged.

Looking at the seniors,
The difference in standard seems pretty big.
I've known that the seniors are darn good since last year.
And I've been wondering if I'll be able to reach their standards when I'm a senior next year.
I've been drilling.
I want to improve.
Because I haven't been improving.

I hope I will achieve something that I'll be proud of by dancenite.
And hopefully by then,
I'll be able to put the MAD in front of my name,
And proudly proclaim that I'm from MAD.

Oh,
On a random note,
The combination of dance, biology and me kills.

I'm weak.
And I feel disadvantaged.

2008-03-03T19:49:00.003+08:00

Argh.

I've got to find a way to cure my absent mindedness.

Its killing me.

Its barely 3 months and I've lost 2 water bottles.
And I had lost 2 phones over the last 2 years.

Someone help to remind me of my stuff next time.
Thanks in advance.

2008-02-29T22:04:00.001+08:00

Great job people.
I'm utterly amazed by our performance.
Haha.
Many thanks for all of your effort, time and everything!

Aphelion,
Hit it.

2008-02-27T22:39:00.000+08:00

Aphelion Nite tmr.
Lets do it.

2008-02-25T23:42:00.003+08:00

Fac dance competition is over.
After months of hard work for the dance i/cs,
And few months of practice for us.

Apollo was great today.
But I guess ares was better.

I can't say I'm not disappointed.

And I know for sure that the dance i/cs were disappointed.
It feels bad when you see people tearing,
Or giving you big smiles when you know when they are depressed on e inside,
And yet you can't really do anything much to make them feel better.
Hope thomas and jiayi are feeling better now.
They were really great dance i/cs.
They have done a great job seriously.
I believe everyone could see their effort and hard work.
Its never a doubt.

I'll miss the faculty dance practises.
I'll miss seeing thomas and jiayi leading all of us.
I'll miss seeing the whole of apollo dancing as a whole.
Apollo 2008 faculty dance will be a dance that will stay with me.
I'll never forget it.

Okay,
So while everyone is being hyper/depressed over the fac dance competition,
We cannot forget that at the end of the day,
Apollo,
Ares,
Athena and
Artemis,
All still adds up to hwa chong.
It is okay to be attached to your faculty,
Or to have liking for other faculties,
But its not nice to have a dislike for other faculties.
It feels bad to hear people bad mouthing other faculties.
It will be a very sad case if people end up breaking friendships over faculty issues.
It hurts to see that happen.

The competition has ended,
And the results will always remain as it is.
So its time to move on.
No point debating over the results.

All e best to thomas for his danceworks and floorskillz.
Jia you dude,
You can't be affected much by this.

And so moving on,
Next year will be an interesting year.
Fac dance competition will be a tough competition as well.

I'm going to run for fac comm,
Dance i/c.
And if I make it,
I'll try my best to get apollo to the top.

Till next year.

School spirit.
Faculty identity.
Coexist.
Not compromise.

2008-02-24T00:56:00.002+08:00

Because of you,
I end up being the way I are.

Make it work,
And not cry me a river.

Apologise not,
For last night had been great.

Every song tells a story.
Can you hear it?

2008-02-15T21:55:00.002+08:00

Some people are just really difficult to understand.
And I think I had enough of trying to.

2008-02-14T21:06:00.002+08:00

My ankle hurts.
Quite badly.
Sigh.
Wonder which move I did which injured it.

Anyway,
I'm utterly amazed and surprised by the enthusiasm the aphelion nite performers have.
They just keep practising and practising.
Makes me feel slack.
=X
When I gt tired and lie on the floor,
I see them practising.
When I practise,
I see them practising too.
When I practise breaking or isolations,
I see them practising too.
Damn meng.
Seems like I've found the correct people to perform.
Jia you people!
Performance on 28th!
Oh oh,
I and liping finally took e video of e dance today.
It was uh,
Kinda screwed up,
But passable lah.
Hah, I think it will be on youtube soon.

My parents want me out of break.
Okay, my mum wants.
She thinks that I'll break my bones or something.
- -|
I actually thought that she would be understanding and allow me to just dance break and hip hop.
Oh well.
And its difficult to explain to her that we dont do the sick and crazy moves like spinning on your head or flares,
Because thats what people think of when they hear break dance.
(Oh, on a side note, its breaking/bboying instead of break dancing)
But I'll persist.
Don't think I'll drop out.

My parents are nagging that I'm putting much more focus on dancing as compared to my schoolwork.
What can I say man.
Im not the mugger type.
I hate doing schoolwork.
I hate doing memory work.
Zzzz.
Rawr.

Valentines today!
I received many many many gifts!
Woohoo, I feel so loved.
But I feel guilty for not preparing gifts for people.
But Im just not the gift type of guy.
I cmi when it comes to getting (buying) gifts.
And so I make most of my gifts.
And yeah, I dont really give people stuff also.
(Further supports the point that Im not the gift type of guy)
So...
I just carved the names of my angel and mortal on wooden blocks.
Sorry to all people who gave me gifts,
As I didn't manage to give them something as well.
Many many thanks for the gifts people!
Even jonathan neo gave me a sunflower,
(It hates its petals a lot,
Keeps dropping them)
It was totally unexpected man.
Weee,
Fun valentines,
Although I spent my after-school-day dancing instead of going on a date.
Hahaha.

Happy valentines people.